It's been a while

I know, it's been a while since I've posted. I just haven't been in the mood to talk about anything. I don't think I'm depressed.... but I'm definitely going through a slump, trying to get over finding out I'm pregnant and trying to move into the getting excited faze. I had a setback, too. I went to my doctor Monday for the first time, thinking that I was about 13-16 weeks pregnant... but I'm not :( I'm only 7 weeks pregnant. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does. It now feels like the pregnancy is going to last FOREVER. They say I'm due November 4, but I had my other two kids almost a month early, so I'm expecting sometime in October. So here's the little ultrasound:

I know that this should probably get me excited.. but it doesn't. Probably because I'm not very far along in my pregnancy and it's just a tiny dot. The one thing that does make me happy is that it's only one dot... and not two... or THREE! I know that I'll get more excited. I think being so sick and tired isn't helping the situation either. 

One of the big let downs of this whole thing, is accepting the fact that right now, I can't lose weight, and I can run, but nothing like I was doing. I was so proud of myself for losing over 50 pounds and for running over 3 miles regularly. Those were things I never thought I'd be able to do, but I was doing it. It seems like this pregnancy just put a big HALT STOP CAN'T DO IT sign in my head. The doctor said I could still run, just not too strenuously, but I just haven't been able to get myself to do it. I feel like it's going to hurt, and I'm going to be slow, and it's going to be like starting all over, since I've taken 3 weeks off. And I'm SO TIRED all the time. JD doesn't sleep through the night yet, and even if he did, I still think I'd be tired. I think part of that is from all the throwing up and nausea I've been dealing with, and then nursing, and trying to feed myself, JD, and this new growing baby. I have one more month of nursing JD so hopefully it will get better after that. 

I am just counting down the days until this baby is here so I can start losing weight and exercising again! My doctor said she really doesn't want me to gain more than 20lbs this pregnancy. Which I'm TOTALLY fine with. That's excluding the water retention if I get Pre Eclampsia. With both of my other children, I got pre-eclampsia (it's seriously high blood pressure caused by the placenta that basically causes me to be induced... and it's very dangerous). Typically, the more times you have it, the more likely you are to get it. I don't have BP problems outside of pregnancy, but it gets bad during pregnancy. With JD, I was put on bedrest at 28 weeks... which was TERRIBLE! I'm praying that that doesn't happen this time. Anyways... when the Pre-E. kicks in, I start retaining water really really bad. I will gain a good 15-20 pounds in about a day from water retention/swelling. NO JOKE. But as soon as the baby delivers, it pretty much goes away. So the 20 pounds the doctor wants me to stay under, is excluding the water retention, because there's nothing I can do about that. The Pre-E is not preventable either, although I'm doing anything and everything I can from reading online to try and prevent it. Whatever happens, happens, I guess. 

So besides all of that, I've been slightly concerned about Isabella's weight. The doctor has never said anything negative about it, but I'm still concerned. She is tall, really tall for her age. I didn't realize it, until she gets around kids older than her. But she's also big... really big ... for her age.. and she carries a lot of her weight in her stomach. Anyways, I never want to say negative things to her, or talk about dieting. I don't even want to talk about exercising to lose weight. So I just decided, as the weather gets nicer, we are going to spend most of the day outside. Saturday, we spent all but 2 hours of the day outside, and Sunday we spent the whole day, excluding church/nap time outside. We played on the playground, did softball, rode the 4 wheeler. I think also, being out of the house, helps us both not want to snack (she's a snacker too). We already had emptied our house of most sweets, but I also went and bought a HUGE bowl of grapes and some pretty decent granola bars. When she wants something, instead of fish crackers, or a cookie, or something like that, I tell her to get some grapes. The first day, she got mad, but now she's fine with it. I'm hoping that this summer, we can change her habits, and shape her body a little better. I'm not obsessing about it, I just want to be a good Mom and have a healthy child. I don't want her to struggle with her weight and her body image her whole life, so I want to do what I can now to help that. Again, I think it's important that I never tell her, "let's go outside and play so we can exercise because we need to lose weight." I just say, "let's go outside and play." I also don't say, "eat some grapes because the other stuff is making you gain weight or is bad for you." I just say, "If you want something, there's grapes in the fridge. That's your only option right now." Here's some pictures from the weekend with the kids:

10 Weeks Pregnant.. or Something Like That

Hi friends! Just figured I'd hop in to give a little update. Last week, I got very VERY sick. I thought it was the pregnancy, but now that it's over, I'm not so sure. Starting about Thursday, I was extremely nauseous.... all the time. By Friday through all of Saturday I was throwing up pretty much constantly. Anytime I put something in my mouth, soon after, I would throw it up. It didn't matter if it was saltine crackers or a hamburger (the latter, I didn't actually try). My point is, I threw up... a lot. It was terrible. I was exhausted, I was empty of nutrition, and I was very frustrated! Thankfully, by Sunday, the nausea/vomiting had ended. One positive... I lost 5 pounds haha. :)

I feel great this week. Pretty good on energy and great on the stomach/eating/aching area. I'm slowly starting to get excited about being pregnant! I think I will really be excited after I go to the doctor on Monday for my first visit. I'm anxious to hear that I DO NOT have twins!!! (at least that's REALLY REALLY REALLY what I hope I hear). Once I have that appointment, and find out exactly how far along I am, I think it will be easier to get excited!

So this is how I looked the majority of last week. No Joke.

I pretty much just wanted to sleep. Laying down seemed to help with the nausea so that's mostly what I did. Thankfully, Paul was very kind about the whole thing and really helped with the kids. One day, I had just thrown up and came back to lay on the couch. JD had just woke up so I had him sitting beside me. I moaned really loud because my stomach was hurting... and this is what he started doing: 

LAUGHING AT ME :) Apparently he thought me being sick was very funny. How can you resist that face though? I just love him. 

I have been eating pretty good since my sickness. I'll admit, I've had ice cream a couple of times. After not being able to eat anything for several days, ice cream just sounded so good to me, and I felt like I deserved it after all that sickness :) 

Yesterday, I also did one of my new prenatal Yoga videos! I don't think it had but one.. ONE.. yoga move in it. The rest was pretty intense aerobic stuff that had my heart racing.

I think it was really good though and I felt good after doing it. Now that I'm feeling better, I also want to get back to running. I don't want to just stop that completely. I really hope that I can keep that up.... maybe not as long or as fast, but when I get done having this baby, I plan on getting right back on the wagon!

One funny thing I want to share. I don't remember what day, but Isabella came up to me in the kitchen and said, "Mom, your stomach is getting HUGE from that baby! WOW!" (again.. I'm maybe 3 months pregnant tops, so I'm not showing at all haha). I said, "Well thanks a lot Isabella." So then, 30 minutes later, she drew me an "I'm sorry/ Get Well" card. 

She said it's me and her and a flower and the sunshine :) She is so thoughtful :) 

One Week Since My Life Changed

It's been one week since I found out I was pregnant. I'm still not over the frustration of it. I am starting to get excited though. I think I would get over the frustration if I wasn't feeling so bad. I feel SO NAUSEOUS and SO HUNGRY all the time. I'm also on an antibiotic from the kidney infection and that has my stomach in knots as well :( I don't feel exhausted like I did when I was pregnant with JD... I just feel sick... pretty much all the time. And my sense of smell! It's RIDICULOUS. Last night, the small of raw beef as I was trying to fry it made me run to the bathroom... then I couldn't eat the dinner I had cooked... so I ate a bowl of cereal... that's all that sounded remotely appetizing. I just want to feel better. The only thing I'm clinging to is that normally after the first trimester it's not as bad, and I'm 9 weeks or so pregnant, so not much longer there. I go to the doctor a week from Monday for the first time.... that will be exciting.

Anyways, it's also been a week since I've ran. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I haven't wanted to do anything... I've also been really busy. I'd really like to lose another 10 pounds before I go to the doctor. I know... you're not supposed to lose weight when you're pregnant, but I really think it's going to happen. 1) because I'm going to start working out again (the dr. said I could), and 2) because I'm nursing still, and can't keep much down. I'd really like to keep my weight gain during this pregnancy under 25 lbs... if I do that, then when the pregnancy is over, I'll be about where I started when I started the weightloss journey this January.

So, other than that, I'll just update on my week. When I was at the doctor last Thursday, the nurse took my blood. This doctor's office has been terrible to me the last 3 weeks... too many things to explain.. but I will share this picture:

This is my arm.... a week later. I wish I would have taken a picture the day after. When she was taking my blood, she was already very rough, but she tried to take a phone call on her cell phone (from my OB, but STILL), and in the process, she dug the needle farther in then accidentally jerked it out. It hurt so bad. I was already crying from finding out I was pregnant, so I guess she thought nothing of it. She said, " Sorry that might've hurt a little, but it's fine." She then tried to pull the cotton swab off of it, but when she did it was literally pouring blood. UGH. And for the next 3 days, I couldn't extend my arm all the way... no joke. That top bruise is where the needle was in. The bottom bruise I guess was caused by the trauma to the vein. I will NEVER go back there. EVER. 

Anyways, my kids have been extra sweet/fun the last couple of days. I'm trying to treasure every moment I can get with them, since things are about to get more hectic and crazy! Especially with Isabella, since she's going to kindergarten next year. I let her and JD take a bath together and JD loved it! He loved being out of his little tiny baby bath :) 

Then Bella decided she wanted to wear her footed pajamas from her grandma! It was cold outside but I knew it wouldn't last long. 

Sometime in the middle of the night, she took it off and got "naked" (just panties) because she was hot. She for the most part sleeps without any clothes on... even when it's snowing/freezing outside!

Paul and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary on Tuesday. We have had a lot of changes in our lives in 2 years. Essentially... 2 babies in 2 years haha.... well 2 and a half years. WOW! We went to Outback thanks to a gift card I had received from work. We had to take the kids, but they were SO good, and the food was SO GOOD (my stomach didn't appreciate it about an hour later though). 

Just one more picture I want to share... mostly so I have it somewhere and don't lose it cause I think it's hilarious. Sunday after church, we had several house showings, so we had to take the kids with us (during their usual nap time). So I looked back during the drive to one of the houses and saw this: 

This whole picture cracks me up. She always sleeps in the car like that, with her legs spread as wide as possible, and her mouth wide open.... typically with drool coming out. HAHA. I love her so much though! 

Ok so anyways, this week. I want to try to eat healthy and keep my calories under 2,100. I think this is a good calorie range for being pregnant and nursing. But mostly, I'm just going to eat good choices when I'm hungry and when I can stomach it. Right now, I'm way under 2,100, but I'm trying. I'm also going to try and work out (not necessarily run), but exercise, at least 4 times this upcoming week. 

Everything is Changing

Hello everyone... or myself, since I'm pretty sure I'm one of 3 people that read this. I haven't written in a week, because I wasn't even sure if I was going to continue this blog. It really seems kind of pointless now. I've been having problems with my kidney (my left one)... with chronic urinary tract infections/kidney infections. Now, more than ever, I'm convinced that these problems are caused or partly caused by the severe pre eclampsia that I had with both of my children. I may talk about all of that on another day, and the research I'm doing.

Anyways, last Thursday, I was at the doctor for yet another kidney problem, and I was informed that I am 8 weeks pregnant! This was a shock to me because I have been on birth control ever since JD was born, I have been nursing, and I have not had a period yet. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I still have moments where I tear up about it and get angry about it. I will love this baby, and I will get excited, but sometimes, it's hard.

I think this is the hardest part... recognizing that this dream of losing weight, is not going to happen right now. I was really getting excited about my running goals, and about the weight I was losing. It really sucks that I have to stop losing weight. REALLY SUCKS! And it will be close to February ... close to a year... before I can really start back. The doctor said I could run... and so I plan to still run... not as hard, not as fast, and not as long... but I do plan on exercising. I also plan on eating healthy (I am 5 days out from having any diet cokes and very very little caffeine). I also plan on doing anything I can do to increase my chances of preventing pre eclampsia with this baby. I believe it is possible to prevent it. Doctors won't say that, but after a lot of research, I think I can at least significantly increase my odds.

I think I'm going to try to keep up with this blog. Obviously, the topics will shift a little. I still do want to eat healthy.. now more than ever.. and I want to consistently exercise. I would like to keep my weight gain for the entire pregnancy below 20 pounds. I know that this is ok health wise because of my current weight.

So that's that. I don't really have much more to say about the topic right now. Maybe I'll get more excited and talk more about all of it soon. I hope I have a healthy/easy pregnancy, and I hope I have a healthy baby. This is most definitely be the last one... so maybe, just maybe, I can experience one normal pregnancy.

Finding out some new Information

So today has been kinda relaxed, and completely crazy all at the same time at work. There are a lot of students gone because of a basketball tournament, but there were some students... 2 in particular .. that I'm fairly certain went off the deep end. Anyways, I had some time to read some blogs today and I ran across a new one that had some great information. HERE IT IS if you want to check it out. She has lost over 100 pounds and she did it pretty much the same way I'm trying to do it. I don't know why I enjoy reading other people's inspirational stories so much.. but I hope   KNOW that I will also have the same inspirational story one day! It also had this site that allowed me to find out some information about what I should be doing calorie and goal wise.

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UGH I tried to embed it here, but I can't figure out how to get it to work, so I'll just have to share the information. OK, according to where I am right now here is what I found out:

Basic Metabolic Rate (based on height, weight, age, activity level)
Maintenance: 2,344 Calories
Fat Loss: 1,993 Calories
Extreme Fat Loss: 1,758 Calories

So, I'm actually doing about what I thought I should be doing. I'm mostly eating about 1,800 calories so I'm right in between the Extreme and the Fat loss. It does make we want to move down to the 1,700 calorie range, but I think I'm doing good either way.

Ideal Body Weight (based on height, weight)
146-151 lbs

I literally don't remember a time when I've been under 200 lbs. But the exciting part about this to me, is that in 2 more pounds, I will be exactly 100 pounds away from my ideal body weight!!! 100 pounds is a ton, but it's nice to know soon I won't have over 100 pounds to lose!  That may sound weird to some of you, but to me, it's exciting, and important.

I'm really glad I found that girl's blog today because I was needing some motivation. The last two days I've been struggling with wanting to binge every other second. I've been SO STRESSED OUT with so many unknowns and changes in my life. It's been really hard to cope, because my normal coping method would be to eat. I haven't eaten great today, but I'm still under my calorie limit, so now I'm more motivated than ever to finish the day STRONG (within my calorie range and go to run).

Tomorrow is weigh in day. It's another time where I don't expect to lose weight. I really won't be surprised if I've gained. But, it's not going to stop me and I am going to continue losing weight!

I have a 3 and a half month goal set, now that I'm certain I'm going on my family cruise in June. I want to be under 200 pounds by the time of the cruise. That means in the next 4ish months, I will need to lose 50 pounds! I know this is possible and I plan on doing it!!!!!!!!!

Interviews and Buying a House

Good Morning everyone! I'm hoping today is a GREAT DAY! I'm so very very anxious/nervous/excited. I have an interview this afternoon for a middle school math teaching position. I'm really anxious to get a job offer so that I know where I'll be teaching next year. I'm not very good with changes, and the unknown. Right now, pretty much in every area of my life, I'm going through changes: new job, selling/buying a house, my daughter starting softball and kindergarten next year, this new weightloss/exercise journey. It's all scary and fun!

Once again, I didn't get to have my kidney ultrasound yesterday. There was insurance problems. I could go on and on about that and how stupid the people at the doctor's office are... but I'm going to refrain. Last night, I had to finish tagging all of my kids clothes for the Consignment Sale (it starts Saturday WOO HOO!)

Tonight, I made this lovely dish for dinner :)

It was very yummy and under 300 calories!!!! Well.. under 500 calories when you add the bread haha. You can find the recipe for it here. I also treated myself to ice cream from Sonic last night. My first ice cream from Sonic since January!!! I saved up enough calories yesterday for it....it was SO worth it! I should've taken a picture!! :)

I didn't work out yesterday, because I was tooooooo sore still.. and I had a lot to do. I probably won't work out tonight, because I have an interview then Isabella has softball tryouts. I do plan to work out tomorrow night! Hopefully my run will be good. 

OK, well I'll have more to update about tomorrow after everything tonight. Have a great day everyone!!!

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry I don't blog on the weekends. I don't take my laptop home (because there's something wrong with the battery and once it dies it's very hard to get it back on...), so I only blog when I'm at work (during my planning period or before school starts). So Monday is always a BIG catch-up day about what I did throughout the weekend. I know I spent a lot of time on my blog last week complaining! I hate that I complained so much, because that's not normally the type of person I am. I was having a TERRIBLE week for so many reasons: very sick, bad eating/exercising week, didn't get the job I wanted, problems with students, etc.

But THIS WEEK, I just know it's going to be a good one! We made an offer on a house last week... one that we BOTH love (which is a big deal because so far, Paul has been VERY difficult). We will find out by Wednesday if the offer was accepted. There are 4 other offers on the table, so who knows what's going to happen. I also have an interview this week, and next week for teaching jobs. OH and Isabella starts softball tomorrow!!!!!! This is her first organized sports activity! I'm excited and I hope she loves it!!!! I think she's excited too ;)

OK, so let's catch up on the weekend. It's hard to remember all the way back to Friday, but I'm going to try. I don't remember eating very healthy Friday. Nope.. I didn't. We had Chinese for dinner... it was SO GOOD, but SO HIGH in sodium. I did stay under my calorie count though, so I'm satisfied with that. I was so glad it was Friday because last week had been so long. I hadn't worked out since Monday and I really wanted to work out Friday.. but I didn't. Tues-Thurs I was still too sick to work out, but Friday... I really had no excuse. I made up for it the rest of the weekend though. I enjoyed Friday evening at home with my kids and Paul.

Bella thought it would be hilarious to put a girl headband  on JD :)

Saturday, Paul was off and the weather was finally starting to clear up (no rain!). I went to Walmart with both kids at 7 AM, because we were all awake, so I figured, let's just get it over with. GREAT TIME TO GO... there was a total of 5 cars there! WOO! Paul went and worked out while we did that. I also went to a consignment sale! I love buying my kids clothes at consignment sales because you can get great clothes and a  GREAT price! That afternoon, Paul let me go running while the kids were napping! I went with the plan to get in 4 miles before it got dark, if possible. That was going to be a huge task because 1) I hadn't ran since Monday, and 2) I've never ran more than 3 miles, and I was EXHAUSTED!

Well, I was able to run 3.40 miles in 41:55. I finished 3 miles right under 38:00 which was 2 minutes faster than the last time I ran 3 miles!!! I was SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!

I also burned 550 calories!!!! I didn't hurt all over too bad... I had blisters on my feet, but other than that, I wasn't too sore... and I was SO PROUD! I still am. That's the longest and fastest I've ever run! When I went home, it was time for dinner, but I wasn't hungry at all, so I had a bowl of cereal and treated myself to some toast with chocolate PB2 (it came in a few days before and I was dying to try it). 

It was SO good... and rich... and sweet tasting... and fulfilling... and I could go on and on :).. AND LOW CALORIE (I almost forgot the best part). 

Sunday after church it was BEAUTIFUL outside!!! In the 60's and sunny! Paul offered to let me run at the Greenway while the kids played at the playground. I wanted to get in a full 3 miles again but it was SO HARD! It's weird how the day before it was so easy. On this run, though, I felt like I couldn't breathe and like my body was falling apart. I couldn't get below a 14 min/mile pace (normally I'm around a 12:20 pace). It was so frustrating. I tried to push myself harder, but I couldn't breathe and everything hurt. I guess it's probably because I ran so hard the day before. I got back to the playground and had .30 miles left to go to get to 3 miles, but I just couldn't do it. The last .40 miles, Isabella ran with me (she saw me coming), so I had to slow down. I was still going SO slow before that though. I'm glad I ran... but I wish it would've been easier! 

Today, I'm SO SORE. I was super sore last night too. My legs are hurting so bad.... and my abs?! I don't know why they're hurting, but they're hurting really bad. One of the blisters on my foot has turned into a blood blister (gross I know). I'm definitely going to have to take off today, and I'll probably be too busy to run tomorrow... but my body probably needs it. Hopefully, I'll be able to run Wednesday and it will go well. I'm really proud of myself this weekend though, on both my eating/calories and running. I'm excited for my weigh-in Thursday!!!!!!

Hope everyone had a good weekend :)