Today has been CRAPPY (and yesterday)

I know that I'm supposed to be talking about my weight loss and stuff, but sometimes I just need to vent. I have not had a very good week. Yesterday, I had an argument with my boss and I'm still very angry about it.  Then right after that, I had to kick a student out of my classroom because he was being SO TERRIBLE. I am not a confrontational person, and by the time I kicked him out, I was shaking, my pulse was racing, and I felt nauseous. I wrote the whole thing up, for the principal (my boss) to see, and guess what happened... a BIG NADA. Not surprising.

I did get to work out last night, but I had to run on the treadmill. It's SO MUCH HARDER than running outside... for me anyways. About 5 minutes in, I was already over it. I forced myself to get 2 miles in.. at 22 minutes. I burned almost 400 calories, so I was happy with that. My legs were super sore when I was done though. I think they should be more sore when I run outside, instead of inside, but it's the exact opposite for me.

JD woke up so many times last night.. I lost count. He's been sleeping through the night, so there had to be something wrong. I gave in and nursed him 2 of the times, but it made me so tired today. I'm glad I showered last night so that I could sleep a few more minutes today.

This was during his 3AM feeding. It's frustrating, but I know I'll miss it one day. 

Anyways, our driveway is not paved (among a list of about 1,000 I don't like about our house). This morning, it had been raining all night so it was gross out. While carrying JD out, I slipped in a mud puddle, and got mud all over me. So I had to put him in the car, go back in, clean up, and start to leave again, which made me late. So I couldn't nurse him and had to let him have a bottle. That was not the way I wanted to start my day.

I'm still waiting for a job I interviewed at to call me back. It's KILLING ME! I just want to know if I got the teaching position. It's a really great chance for me and I want it SO BAD! Every day it takes longer, I start feeling more and more like I'm not going to get it. :( I'm so anxious about that phone call.

We've found 2 houses that we really like (we are going through a lot of changes right now, one being trying to move). One I was SUPER EXCITED about.. just to find out that an offer had been made on both within the past 2 days. And I think the more this happens, the more Paul convinces himself that we actually have a great house (we don't) and that we really shouldn't move (we should). He has said that.. more than once.

Which leads me to Valentine's Day. I haven't gotten anything for Paul, and I don't really have the desire to. He hasn't gotten anything for me either (he never does until on his way home from work the night of Valentine's Day). The love is not really flowing right now between us. I know you go through highs and lows in a relationship, and we are definitely in a slump. I'm just tired of always being the one to move out of the slump. He's a wonderful man, and has been a wonderful father, and I know if nothing else, I can always love him for that. I just wish there was a spark, some romance, affection, or just plain attention that he could give to me... not just to the kids.

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OK I'm done venting. I stayed under my calorie count yesterday by about 10 calories haha. And that was only because I ran. If I hadn't of ran, I wouldn't have because we went to Mexican last night! MY FAVORITE! and it's SO FATTENING ... what I eat especially. But I stayed within my calories, so I'm good.

I hope the rain stops because Paul is going to keep JD tonight, so if it's not raining, I'm going to run in my Mom's neighborhood while Isabella is at children's church. I'm going to shoot for 3 miles again. If it's raining, I'll have to go to the gym... and I doubt I'll make it to 3 miles. Just being realistic.

I'm excited to weigh in tomorrow and see how much I've lost. I sure hope I've lost something. It would be SUPER AWESOME if I'm out of the 260's and into the 250's, but that would mean 5 or more pounds so we will see.

The other big thing, is I've made my first "healthy" online order... if that makes sense. I have ordered PB2. It is powdered peanut butter. I got the regular peanut butter and the chocolate peanut butter. I've done a lot of research on it and read a lot of reviews. Everyone says it tastes better than regular peanut butter and is so good. It's also 45 calories a serving instead of the almost 200 calories regular peanut butter has. There are a lot of recipes for it to. If you just add water, you can make it whatever consistency you want (for spreads on bread, etc), or you can add the powder to things like smoothies, oatmeal, fruit dips, desserts, etc. It gives you a lot of protein with very little fat/calories. I'm excited to try it. I will post about it once it comes in and let you know what I think .